Ranting and Review

Getcha Freak On

Sensing lack of movie reviews on this blog, (which may I add are a fetish of mine), I decided that I’d go ahead and knock together one for you. I figured the most sensible thing to do would be to review the last film I watched which was X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I guess it’s a good thing that I have a lot to say about this movie then, isn’t it? So this is my first blog and movie review, spliced with a lot of nerd ranting a long the way. Enjoy.



Stepping back and attempting to analyse it from an entirely ‘non-comic book geek’ point of view, I can point out both the good and bad. The film in itself was well constructed with impressive special effects. The acting was better than passable and the script was well written. I found the storyline to be highly predictable, bar perhaps the ending (which was like WHOA, WTF DUDE, NOT EXPECTING THAT). One thing that narked me off a little as a viewer was the scene in with the actual ‘dead pool’ where they meld the ‘adamantium’ to Wolverine’s skeleton. Yes, movies are bound to have hiccups, but when I watched all the other X-Men films and we saw the shattered memories that Logan still had of the laboratory, I imaged some gritty, secretive underground place where illegal and gruesome experiments happen. They had clips of him looking at his new claws, mortified, with blood all over his hands. The tank water was green and the tank was dirty looking. It makes you ponder how the bloody hell he ended up there and made me really feel for him as a character. A shiny lab where a minutes worth of, admittedly unimaginable, pain was inflicted to avenge :Spoilers: the death of a girlfriend he’d known five minutes, makes me think: Oh. Okay then.

Jumping into nerd mode as a gal who loves her comic books; THIS IS ALL WRONG. I’m a huge fan of the X-Men films andf I’ll be the first to say that I’m not a big fan of Wolverine. I just never took to him. I do, however, freaking obsess over Deadpool (the character, not the tank thing). I knew I was going to watch the film anyhoodles because I like the X-Men films, but when I found out that Deadpool aka Wade Wilson was in it and being played by Ryan Reynolds, I made a noise somewhere between a cough and a gasp, then proceeded to fall off of my chair. Not only is Ryan the hottest human being in the whole of, like, earth, but his comedic talent, wit and superb improvisational skills share a direct parallel with Deadpool’s. No one else could play him. Yes, yes, he was played superbly. Ryan nailed the part and really captured the essence of Wade, Kat was impressed, blahdeblahdeblah. BUT HE WAS IN IT FOR ALL OF ABOUT 8 SECONDS. I watched the entirety of the film waiting for him to pop up somewhere again and did he? Yes. :Spoilers: Right at the end of the bloody film, replaced by a body double with laser eyes, the ability to teleport and with his mouth removed. Yeah, alright then. Its not like his nickname in the comics was Merc with the Mouth or anything and now he’s even had that taken away from him. He wasn’t nearly as deformed as he should have been, the guy was supposed to be riddled with cancer and tumours. The reason he ended up so powerful was cancer treatment gone-wrong. AND WHERE WAS THE BREAKING OF THE FORTH-WALL?! I won’t go into anymore detail then I have about him, or you’ll stop reading (if you haven’t already) but the effing up of Deadpool left me one severely pissed off little dork. Although him popping up LIKE THAT at the end was probably one of the only unpredictable bits in the whole of the film. I was NOT expecting that.

Not only did they bastardize Deadpool but they demolished Emma Frost’s character (that one who turns to diamond). Not only is she supposed to be a villain, she’s supposed to look like an absolute slut. Imagine if Paris Hilton we’re a blow up doll, with bigger boobs and wearing nothing but lingerie. You’d think that the media would jump at the chance of exploiting hot, half naked women.

In all fairness, I like what they did with the character of Gambit. I not sure what the other fans will think but I thought they made him passably like his character from the comics and undeniably cool. All his powers were the same, he looked similar, had the right accent and there was a lovely fight scene between him and Wolverine.

If I were to give a percentage out of ten for this film, it would probably be a five. Perhaps a six if I’m feeling generous, for lack of accuracy and serious predictability. The marks are for the enjoyment factor and special effects. It was entertaining I guess, I didn’t get horribly bored at any point and it’s a half decent spin off of the X-Men films. It would probably work better as a movie if it had nothing to do with the comics and stood alone as a film. The Deadpool fangirl in me is going to have to wait a couple of years for it, but it has been announced that a Deadpool film is being made for 2011/12 and Ryan is playing him! EXCITEMENT! Apparently its going to be absolutely accurate, complete with deformities and fourth-wall breaking HURRAH!!…

…I should have been born a boy. Probably as Sheldon from the Big-Bang Theory, proceeding re-reading this article.

Hope you enjoyed my review, now go do something constructive. I’m in the mood for some comic reading after all this. I’m off to go read my ‘Issue #19 of the Deadpool series’ which has just arrived this morning courtesy of eBay. Gosh, I’m such a nerd.