Showing posts with label Joshua Creaven. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joshua Creaven. Show all posts

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Talking TV - 03


...Nauseatingly needless,


...Critically crunching,


...An arrogant analysis



(right...that's enough, ^suggestions on a postcard please)



  • It's come to my attention my last two blarticles (yes I went there, blog+article) have been rather rantastic (rant +fanta...you got it) thus swaying my thoughts to write something a bit more positive. I thought I'd give it a go. A problems occurs when I start to think of things on television that I actually enjoy, but none the less I decided on two.
Drama : THE WIRE

The Wire is an American drama series which revolves around the city, culture and people of Baltimore. The series was written and produced by a former Baltimore pollice officer, David Simon. To say this is a just another police drama is a stonking under-statement, The Wire is the best thing to come out of American television in my lifetime, topped only by DEADWOOD. I have a theory about this, being that some of the big roles such as the part of Jimmy McNaulty, a witty Irish-American detective, or Stringer Bell, intelligent buisness man who happens to be the brains behind the biggest drug gang in Baltimore are both played by British actors, Dominic West and Idris Elba respectfully. The vast cast and shocking realism of The Wire fully initiates the viewer into the story, I bought the season 1 boxset and ploughed through the 13 hour exstravaganza in a few very very late nights. I cannot stress enough the genius of The Wire, if guns, swearing, witty one-liners, complex plot lines and memorable characters are something you are craving from your telebox then switch off Britain Has Got Alot of Idoits or whatever it's called, and march yourself to somewhere you can purchase The Wire, crack out the red bull, stay up until you can hear your alarm going off in your room and do no revision. Alternatively the first season of The Wire is starting/started on BBC 2. The only reason The Wire hasn't been giving it's just amount of praise is down to the fact the majorirty of the cast are black, a great disgrace against the production of fantastic television.

I wonder if the size of image I use will be interperated as how strongly I recomend The Wire, let's see.




Comedy : FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS



Unlike The Wire I feel I don't need to encourage the addition of Flight of The Conchords to reader's "Favourite TV Shows" section on their undoubtly existing facebook profiles as much . It basically comes down to two factors, do you like the dead-pan brilliance of Peep Show? Do you like the awkward musical numbers in The Mighty Boosh? if you answered "yes" to both of these questions then Flight of The Conchords it's most certainly for you. The show itself is written so very well, the timing and on screen presence of Bret McKenzie and Jermaine Clement is truely spectacular and in my opinion is everything I enjoy from The Mighty Boosh without the pretentious overtones. If unsure about this show, get on youtube and watch some of their live stuff, it's to be marvelled at. it'll make you love New Zealand. Fact.



GET ON
MY TELEBOX!

  • Total Wipeout US and UK - People falling over, but glad to just be on the telebox, brilliant, keep the cretins coming is what I say.
  • Compare The Meerkat - Whoever came up with this needs to be given a medal, the MERE manipulation of language is just so admirable, as for the 3D meerkat...words cannot describe it, well they can. but I'm tired now.
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I feel a bit sick from all the positivity in this blarticle (the more you read it the more you love it, right? right.) so I'm drawing it to a close, see you next week, where I will be discusing MP's Expenses and the EU.




not really. relax.





Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Talking TV - 02

...An analytical asskicking,

...A sarcastic suckerpunch,

...An apathetic......whatever...


(right...that's enough.)





I've gotta keep it short this week, recession buget cutbacks... wait, what do you mean next week I'll have to scribe my blog into a slab of stone with a toothpick?

Huh?

This week I'm just gonna share some opinions that I have, they're my opinions...opinions.


GET OFF MY TELEBOX!

  • Sports commentators - "He's litterally on fire!" - No he's not you idiot. My brain has litterally exploded from listening to sports commentators just babble out a load of non-sense over and over. It's not just football commentators either, rugby, mountain biking and even table tennis too. (I've been doing my homework, scanning through all 999 of Sky's channels looking for the ridiculant) There's got to be an end to the exageration! I propose we make a facebook group called "IF 1M PEOPLE JOIN I WILL SHOOT JOHN MOTSON!". If you have noticed the use of hypocrisy for comic effect in this paragraph, then well done you...*sigh*

  • Two and a Half Men - Not funny and never will be, the writing makes me want to tear my ears out and the acting is cringe-worthy. At first the show had some potential, maybe, but after a season or two, a womaniser, a loser and a fat kid living together, the jokes just ran dry. To the writers of Two and a Half men: you're spent. Glad that's sorted.

  • Adverts for car/house/pet/life insurance using charming acoustic songs dripping with folky melodies. I hate you. you make me look forward to your adverts you evil advert boffins! I have not the energy to go find examples on youtube but you know the ones I mean. Lloyds TSB started it with this THIS.

and finally...

Jasper Carrott, you ABSOLUTE CRETIN, get off my telebox!























Just thought I'd leave a little gap to let that settle in... Brilliant. Until next Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning, bye.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Talking TV - 01


...A satyrical sidesweep,
...A pedantic powerpunch,
...A misanthropic mish-mash

(right...that's enough)


  • So the last few days have showed us that the NEWS GODS* are experts in the trade of scare mongering, and for what it's worth I think they just like saying it...mongering.
BLUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

This week there was a heafty mishap involving the US presidential plane Air Force One flying over New Jersey and New York City so that some burke in a US military fighter jet could pocket some snaps of the plane looking glamourous and shaking it's money maker around the sights of New York state. No doubt the photos will be used in some AWESOME posters campaign, but the question on everyone's lips is when will Air Force One, or AF1 as she'll later be known, be releasing her own compilation book of saucy flying-mobile pin-ups and subsequent debut single...well maybe it's not on everyone's lips...probably just mine?


The best part about this story is the total over-reaction from the news stations, the BBC went with "Video captures NY jet terror"! dropping the "T" word is a surefire way to scare some ignorant news-fearing folk here across the pond into thinking something serious has actually happened when in reality the majority of us really couldn't care less if some special plane flies over some place in the US, get it off my tele! To be fair to the people featured in the video (availiable on the BBC news website) the idiots who planned this outing decided not to tell anyone their intentions, not even the mayor or New York. Another hilarious over-reaction to a ridiculous event by Britian's news coverage boffins who love broadcasting American news as if it's our own, we know nothing exciting happens that often in the UK, please just cut to the weather so I can plan my day! Rawrgh!

President Barack Obama was reported as being "FURIOUS!"


...oh the evidence is clear.

Until the next time I can find something of worth to shout about, goodbye, possibly Swine Flu, Hollyoaks, Jeremy Kyle or GMTV on the whole, who knows, not me.


*Hugh Edwards anyone? what a guy...