Wife Swap Across the Pond

Now we all know the show Wife Swap, and probably all secretly enjoy watching a chavy ASBO filled family of brother-dads and sister-mums from Scunthorpe swap their mother figure with a Soho based family whose children vomit their parent's money straight into the g-strings of London's lapdancers. However, you're always going to get polar opposites being swapped over, as two incredibly similar families swapping wife roles would look as dull as Gordon Brown reading the dictionary. Yet it amazes me how the people on the show still haven't realised themselves that they're going to be trading places with someone totally different to them and their families. The shock that a picture perfect housewife from Cornwall experiences when she ends up living in a caravan with a Gypsy family is nice to watch as in you're mind a huge flashing sign pops up saying "CONFLICT IMMINENT", but I still find it baffling as she says things like "I didn't sign up for this" and "I can't believe this".

This shock is more evident in the American version, as the wives can be essentially the same but with an added ingredient that we in Britain got rid of, much like swine flu and mr bean. This element is religion. The Christianity fuelled families go beserek at morals, the lord's word, family values etc and when it's time for the rule changes to be implemented they freak out and go insane, pacing around their kitchen quoting various bible verses that don't make sense "The Lord's cheese shall not be grated - Matthew 3:17". It's actually a little bit scary to watch. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with religion or having a faith, all I'm saying (speaking as an 18 year old who thinks he knows it all when actually I can't even fry an egg, seriously, there's just too much aparatus involved) is that it just isn't as dominant in the media or society any more, sure we get things like Songs of Praise and The Heaven and Earth Show but that's not really anything, so when you get a huge dollop of American preacher material shoved on to your screen it's quite weird to watch, as you can't, quite, believe these people are being serious.

Now this is just a brief article, I'm only really writing it because I've had one too many pepsi's (or Fizzy Pop as it's known to anyone over 40) and can't sleep, and just watched a rather eye opening episode of the show in question.

Parking Mad

There are many things in this world that we just can't explain no matter how hard we try, £30 million for Dimitar Berbatov being a prime example. On my return to St Brendan's Sixth Form after a two week break I am left baffled once again.

A day doesn't go by without someone complaining about the lack of student parking within college and it is a point that has been brought to St Brendan's attention on numerous occasions. Despite all this, our college has decided to reduce student parking. That's right. REDUCE student parking. This has left me and many other students perplexed and annoyed by this decision.

If there isn't any possible room to fit in additional student parking within the college then that's fine. You can't allocate space if it isn't there. But to reduce student parking seems like a slap in the face to all the students who now have to either find a space around the industrial estate or to risk a £50 fine from McDonalds (I chose the latter, and received the expected punishment).

On top of all this, the repainted bays within the downsized parking in college are far too small. Unless you are willing to climb out of your boot or sun roof, you have no chance of leaving your car.

I have asked the college to explain their decision but I have received no answers as of yet. Apparently students should be seen and not heard.

Who Will Be Crowned Premier League Champions?

With the penultimate game of the Barclays Premier League season less than two months away and no clear favourite for the title as of yet, we analyse what chances the three main contenders have of being crowned as champions. The three main contenders in question are Arsenal, Chelsea and current holders, Man United.

Arsene Wenger's young Gunners are currently sat in third place and four points behind leaders Man United after dropping two points in the dying moments of Saturday's fixture against Birmingham. You cannot deny Arsenal's ability to play elegant and entertaining football, but you can accuse them of lack of fight.

Times have moved on since the tough-tackling, in-your-face Arsenal teams of old, however this new generation of Gunners seem to lacking any sense of physical presence. Fancy footwork and quick passing are brilliant when you are playing against relegation doomed Portsmouth, but as Man United and Chelsea proved, when faced with a physical challenge they crumble.

After Chelsea's demolition of fourth place battlers Aston Villa, Anceloti's men are still breathing heavily down United's necks, only one point adrift of the champions. Chelsea certainly have the squad to keep them going strong throughout the title race, and without the welcomed burden of Champions League fixtures, they can stay fully focused on the Premier League. They may have dropped points recently to the likes of Blackburn, but I can't see any team picking points from them in their remaining games bar one, Man United.

The two sides meet at Old Trafford this Saturday and it could very well be a title decider. In the past these fixtures have been a case of the unstoppable force and the immovable object and everyone is left with a disappointing draw. This time however, there is one factor that could decide the result of the game and maybe the title race. Wayne Rooney. The England striker has been in world class form this season and unless Chelsea are careful, the white Pele could end their title hopes.

For me, Man United are slight favourites to win the league. Although they are only one bad result away from loosing their lead, they have the best striker in the world at the moment, the strongest squad and they have a manager that has been in this position many times and has more often than not, walked away with the league title.

Man United are currently on eighteen titles overall, level with Liverpool's record that has haunted Manchester for many years. I believe that 2010 will be the season that they set a new record for four consecutive league but more importantly to all United fans, make Liverpool's league record redundant.

Here is my predicted top four for the Barclays Premier League 2009/10 season ...

1. Manchester United

2. Chelsea

3. Arsenal

4. Tottenham

"The Logic of Chance" Promises To Be Something Special

With the release date of their latest album looming, the pressure is on Hip-Hop duo Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip to battle the curse of the second album.

Earlier in the year we saw the release of 'Get Better', the first single on the new album, and I was relieved to see that these rising talents have not been affected by the inevitable problems the second album causes. Now Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip have released two new tracks onto their website and they have left this music fan shaking with anticipation like a smack-head awaiting his score.

The two new tracks that have left me in this state are 'Snobs' and 'Stake A Claim', both of which emulate anything from their first album. Snobs has one of the most sing-along choruses I've ever heard and Scroobius Pip's lyrics in Stake A Claim give you a real urge to hit the streets in rebellion, to fight those fat-cats in Parliament.

'The Logic of Chance' is due to be released March 15th and it follows the duo's highly successful first album, 'Angels'. Many artists crumble under the pressure of the second album, failing to match the high standards expected of them after an impressive entrance to the music scene. However, these two Essex lads seem to be handling the curse of the second album quite well, and have just focused on creating lovable, dance all night, sleep all day music.

To catch a listen of Snobs and Stake A Claim, click here!

Feel The LOVE

I consider this, at this point, the pinnacle release of my life ... Tom DeLonge

The Angels And Airwaves lead man is absolutely correct. After years of waiting and building anticipation, Angels And Airwaves have finally released their third album, LOVE, and it is truly epic.

In a time where every other band seems to be churning out the same generic sound; catchy/repetitive riffs, meaningless lyrics and all of which packaged in the familiar 'indie-rocker' way. Angels And Airwaves have continued to supply the music scene with some long awaited originality.

Their most notable traits that have made them so popular still remain in their new release and they have been emphasized to immense levels to create a totally unique sound. The band have invested heavily into developing even more synthesised effects into their songs, all of which create a euphoric feeling when listening to the album, especially in the instrumental track, 'Et Ducit Mundum Per Luce'.

However, the biggest breath of fresh air Angels And Airwaves have brought with this album is the sheer hard work and desire put in by everyone in the band to make LOVE as good as it can possibly be. In an interview before the release of the album, Tom DeLonge said, "There’s nothing that I have put more effort, more time, more heart, and more stress into than this release." It seems too many bands these days are desperate to write, record and release an album in the quickest possible time so they can begin to enjoy the rock 'n' roll lifestyle without the tremendous burden of actually creating music. Whereas the Angels And Airwaves philosophy is and has always been to create something with a clear message, no matter how long it takes. A characteristic which has to be admired.

One of the reasons behind the pure originality in the album is the fact that the album has been written as a score for an upcoming film, LOVE."It’s been a very long time since a band has attempted to make a motion picture associated with an album — So when you listen to the record, it’s not orthodox by any means. There’s a lot of interludes and segues that draw you in and transition you to different levels of excitement," Tom later explained.

This album is modern music at it's best. An utterly outstanding composition of music and with the band releasing it for free, you would have to be insane not to download it.

To get the album for free now, visit Fuel.TV

A Miserable Business

A similar scene occurs every time I attempt to use public transport, and I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of using this carefully executed facade. My knees bend slightly inwards, I put on the best cute-and-innocent face that I can muster and my voice turns somewhat high-pitched, as I daringly ask for a child ticket. An excruciatingly tense pause follows, as I wait for the verdict: I’m hoping that they are the type of driver that does not care how old you are, as long as you don’t pay them with that £20 note. This is by far the best kind, but is becoming some what of an endangered species in this day and age. The second type is less compliant; he asks for your age. However, when you assure them that you ARE fifteen, they nod in agreement, too naive to think that you might actually not be telling the truth. The third type is a force to be reckoned with. Due to your inability to show them any ID, you end up forking out an extra £3 or walking home in the rain - usually the latter.

The point that I’m really trying to make here is that our generation seems to be suffering from a severe case of not-a-child-but-not-an-adult-either syndrome. And the circumstances where we are considered to be an adult are beyond our control. The need to have to pay adult prices on the bus should bring on a whole load of privileges, the vote for example, or preferably the right to purchase alcohol. It seems we are being taken advantage of, our apparently “disposable” income is being snapped up by those corporations that can get away with classing under 18’s as adults.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not promoting the idea of regressing back to our play school years, however tempting the thought of free milk and digestive biscuits may seem. In fact I take quite the opposite stance; I wouldn’t mind paying extra if it meant people would take us more seriously. I mean, we can’t even qualify for the full adult minimum wage until we are 21, and by that time most of us will have accumulated about £20,000 in dept. It seems the only privilege gained when you turn 16 is being charged extra for things. But don’t worry, there’s always that faint glimmer of hope when you buy your first lottery ticket! (Oh the irony).

I suppose this is simply a reflection of the world in which we now live, where freddos no longer cost just 10p - no doubt the era of the glorious 1p sweet is long over. And as for the Bristol bus service, it looks like we’re going nowhere fast - quite literally.

Capello Crumbles Under Media Pressure

Media witch hunt leaves John Terry Stripped of the captaincy

Last Friday evening Fabio Capello made his first noticeable mistake as England manager. After one of the most publicised weeks in John Terry's career, the England boss decided to give in to the media's pressure and relieve the Chelsea skipper of his duty as captain.

John Terry was drowning in a sea of front and back page headlines after it was revealed that he had been cheating on his wife with Vanessa Perroncel, the ex-girlfriend of Manchester City left-back Wayne Bridge. That's when the newspapers decided to get together, light their torches, sharpen their pitch-forks and have themselves a good old fashioned witch hunt.

In a statement released by Fabio Capello a few hours after his decision, he explained, "As a captain with the team, John Terry has displayed extremely positive behaviour. However, I have to take into account other considerations and what is best for all of the England squad. What is best for all of the England team has inspired my choice."

Very admirable you may think, however Capello still hasn't eliminated the possibility of any problems within the England changing room. He may not be leading the team out to South Africa but John Terry will continue to be a dominant figure within the England team. He will continue to be a big influence within the squad.

So any fear of tension in the England team has not been avoided. Not by a long shot!

Fabio Capello has set a dangerous precedent for English football. From this moment on, every England captain that has a slightly checkered past or makes a mistake in their personal life shall be stripped of their honour and fed to the rabid media hounds.

The prestigious award of leading your country as captain has been whittled down from the best man for the job, to the most popular media figure.

Rooney Heads To Wembley

Wayne Rooney's header leaves Manchester City 3-1 down with only seconds remaining

The two teams lined up under the flood lights last night for what was one of the most eagerly anticipated Manchester Derbies in years. The first leg left a bitter taste within the United team as ex-red Carlos Tevez bagged two at Eastlands and taunted the United fans after claiming he was not treated with respect whilst at the club. All of which, along with the prospect of reaching another Carling Cup final, made winning the second leg vital for Manchester United.

The first half was a sea of half chances and it wasn't until the second half that either of the side's keepers were truly tested. When Micah Richard's long range shot seemed destined for the top corner, Edwin Van Der Sar pulled off a phenomenal save high to his left to keep the sides level.

Paul Scholes was the man to break the deadlock after Wayne Rooney played an inch perfect pass to Ryan Giggs who played it back to Portuguese youngster, Nani. After a goal mouth scramble the ball rolled out to Scholes at the edge of the area and he struck home his first League Cup goal in seven years.

It was only 20 minutes later that Carrick passed the ball into the the Manchester City net with great precision and skill after some good build up play by Nani and Darren Fletcher, who later picked up the Man of the Match award. United thought that with less than 20 minutes to go and the aggregate score at 3-2, their place at Wembley was a guarantee. That was until Carlos Tevez continued to haunt his former side by beating Rio Ferdinand in the air to get onto the end of Craig Bellamy's cross and level the aggregate score at 3-3.

With a matter of seconds remaining on the clock, United upped the pressure on City's defence to try and force a winner before extra time. After a world class save by Shay Given prevented Darren Fletcher late on, United gained another corner and it was truly the last possible attack of normal time. United took the corner quick and a one-two between Giggs and new boy Antonio Valencia set up Ryan Giggs to deliver a dangerous cross into the box and inform Rooney got on the end of it and snatched yet another late winner for the reds.

After the memorable 4-3 Manchester derby earlier in the season, no one was surprised to see a high scoreline between the clubs, but I don't think anyone could have imagined the drama on show last night. City's hopes of ending their 34 year trophy drought have taken a hit and now they have to rely on the F.A Cup for any hope of silverware this season.

Not only was this a great Carling Cup semi-final but it was a great derby game, and with Man City's bottomless pit of money growing ever larger, we can only expect this rivalry to grow.

Teens Only Have 800 Word Vocabulary?

Proposed 800 word vocabulary will leave teens jobless

According to government child language adviser, Jean Gross, today's modern teenagers have a vocabulary of no more than 800 words. A vocabulary filled with the phenomenon that is 'teen-speak'. She calls for action to be taken urgently to ensure that today's youth do not struggle to find work because of their inabilities to communicate. This warning comes just a week after she claimed that television is damaging children's development.

"We need to help today's teenagers understand the difference between their text speech and the formal language they need to succeed in life - 800 words will not get you a job," Mrs Gross explained in an interview earlier this week.

The majority of teenagers should have, on average 40,000 words within their vocabulary by the age of 16. However, linguists believe that although teenagers do understand tens-of-thousands of words, they only use approximately 800 of them in daily speech. Jean Gross believes that this is due to social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace and Twitter. "Teenagers are spending more time communicating through electronic media and text messaging, which is short and brief," she added.

Mrs Gross is planning a campaign to take place next year amongst primary and secondary schools across Britain. The focus behind the campaign is to get students understanding the importance of good communication skills to ensure the best possible future for the younger generations.

The idea of teens only using 800 words out of their 40,000 strong vocabulary seems a bit far-fetched to me, but if this is true then there is every right for concern.

A New Year, Same Old Us!

All of us here at The New Wave hope you had a fattening Christmas and an intoxicating New Year.

We aim to recover from the holidays and break our new year's resolutions as soon as we can so that we can attack your eyes with our sexy journalism once again!

So, until then .... Bye bye!