DLC = We're Not Made of Money

Just before I begin to properly write this, I should let you know I own an Xbox 360 and have done for 5 years (and I'm happy with my choice) so I'm going to be writing this from a Microsoft point of view. I won't exclude any PS3 owners who read this and I won't "diss" you or your console, I'm just letting you know which side of the fence I'm on.

This is a post to all the hardcore, proper old-school gamers out there, people who actually work the behinds off to get Achievements and/or Trophies. Over the years, games have, on the whole, been either retail 1000 Gamerscore or have an additional 1250G to get. However, over the last year or so, Downloadable Content has just become ridiculous. Game scores going up to random and ridiculous numbers - Fallout 3 = 1450 (so far!) - Gears of War 2 = 1425 (so far!) - Halo 3 = 1750 - Its pandemonium I tell you!

I didn't have a problem with DLC to begin with, I actually quite welcomed the idea. Developers had a good idea after the game had been released which they wanted to incorporate and so released it as DLC a few months after the release for the fee of 800 Microsoft Points, even a few extra achievements to go with it. Now however, instead of thinking of ideas after the game has come out, developers try to think of DLC beforehand, ready to charge people extra before the game itself has even come out - DLC is announced before the f******* retail game is even on the shelves!

There are some DLC packs worth paying for e.g. pretty much all of Fallout 3's packs (which I think is one of the best games ever made and doesn't always get the respect it deserves, people escape the Vault and give up) Point Lookout in the Swamps with Inbreds, Broken Steel changing the ending to the game completely, The Pitt allowing you to liberate the slaves of Pittsburgh and Operation: Anchorage sending you "back in time" to relive the freedom of Alaska from Chinese forces, the originality of the content was admirable. Also the maps of Nazi Zombies on CoD: World at War are also very much worth the money, a story generating out it (which I applaud) was what sold it for me but the carnage and fun of the never-ending game mode provides hours of enjoyment.

Now however, every single game released now has DLC ready and some games which were released over a year ago are bringing out content now. Not being rude, but double you tee eff (WTF). I just think game designers + developers need to see we aren't made of money, we can't pay for every single DLC pack on every game and its very annoying for achievement getters when a game we maxed months ago gets 12 new DLC achievements.

Any 360 Gamers out there let me know what you think but if your one of those people that just play Call of Duty 4 and FIFA 09 with a Gamerscore between 500 to 2000 G, don't leave a comment because it'll just be something like "M16 BeAsT! 4 Life - I use JuGGerNauT so What?"

If you want to add me on Xbox LIVE my Gamertag is xJimiHendrix92x

New Generation of Comedy

Due to the shitty weather destroying my tv signals, I have recently been forced to take refuge in Internet TV. Luckily, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a show I heared alot about but never remembered to watch it. This show is called The Inbetweeners. Some of you may now be saying "Oh yeah I watch it all the time" but there may be a fair number of people reading this thinking "Oh yeah I've heard of that but I haven't seen it............yet". Allow me to enlighten you.

It revolves around the central character of William McKenzie, affectionately known by his classmates as "Briefcase Wanker". His dad has left his mum (why, I do not know) and he now has to finish off his education at a normal state comprehensive. Fortunately for him, three pupils befriend him. However at the same time, these three aren't at the top of the popularity tree. Simon, Jay and Neill all welcome Will in to their tiny group, in which they all discuss one dominant topic: Sex. The simple formula of boys trying to shag girls works brilliantly thanks to the performances of the 4 young cast members. The boys all differ slightly in their group and it is well balanced. Also, you can often compare some of your friends to one of the four.

Will provides the narrative and the perspective from which we get the story. He is well mannered and brown-noses the teachers and parents. The insults bounce off him since he's had so much abuse but most of the time brings it on himself, like wearing a tight black vest top which usually buff gay body builders wear. Simon is probably my favourite, the all-rounder of the group. He is nice to girls but enjoys sex like the others and joins in with the dirt talk. However, he is obsessed with trying to get with a girl named Carli, but his romantic gestures often backfire hilariously. Jay is pure dirt, always focusing on girls as fuckable objects and non-stop talks about sex and often insults the others for no reason, either saying he'd fuck Will's mum or how he'd stay away from Neill's dad. He exaggerates his sexual escapades whenever possible which Will often instantly dismisses as bogus. Finally there's Neill, a gentle but confused soul. He is Jay's right hand man and usually follows his lead. Just as sex crazed as the rest, Neill's happy face and child-like mannerisms make him the comic relief.

What I like most about the show, is that these 4 boys have an amazingly bad (and funny) time doing things such as going to London for a night out or going on a field trip to a seaside town but they're not ridiculously farfetched either, so the credibility remains which I think is important.

There are also a few other characters who make an appearence who provide classic moments. Neill's dad (Whose not bent) constantly denies his homosexuality, as does Neill, but then eventually gets called a "Bum-der" by Will after a few drinks. Will's mum (possibly the definition of the word MILF) is often the focal point of the boy's fantasies. Simon's parents (his dad especially) who openly discuss their sexual relations in front of and to him, something that would make us all turn away in disgust, to be honest I'd rather mix electricity and water than parents and sex. Gilbert, the school's headteacher, who doesn't take bullshit from anyone and also doesn't believe in grassing. Donovan, the bully who terrorises the boys every now and then, mostly Will since he somehow stole Charlotte Hingecliff AKA Charlotte Bigjuggs off him. But my favourite of all is Patrice, Simon's french exchange who quickly rises above the boy's popularity levels and even manages to shag Charlotte before Will does, all in one episode. He barely says anything, chain smokes and wears a leather jacket. The man is amazing.

The best thing I think I like about this though is that I feel it's captured our generations sense of humour perfectly. For instance, when Will shouts at some seagulls out of nowhere, or when Jay shoots a flare up in the air when they're only about 50ft away from the harbour in broad daylight, these moments I find for whatever reason amazingly funny. I feel that my parents or anyone over the age of 30 probably wouldn't find The Inbetweeners funny, but I don't think they're supossed to. With our generation there has a evolved a new sense of humour I feel, one which finds some of the most peculiar things just lol worthy.

If you haven't already, check out The Inbetweeners at 4 on Demand where you can watch all episodes of both series.

Final Day Drama Captures Ashes Spirit!

What an advert for test cricket! With the recent surge of Twenty/20 cricket, people were beginning to question how exciting test cricket is in comparison, however, the fifth day at Cardiff proved how nail-biting test cricket is, and how special the Ashes truly are!



At the start of the day England had a decent chance of saving the test match and keeping the series level at nil-nil. All they needed to do was to bat the day out, and with captain Andrew Strauss and Kevin Pieterson at the crease it seemed like a relatively simple job. However, the criticism of Pieterson's first innings dismissal obviously got to the ex-captain as he left a straight one on off-stump and was bowled by Ben Hilfenhaus, dramatically reducing any chances of avoiding defeat. The skipper soon followed as his attempted cut-shot edged behind to Brad Haddin off of Nathan Hauritz's bowling. It seemed like this would belong to Australia.

England's late middle order put up a fight against the Aussie's attack, with Paul Collingwood top scoring with 74 off of an astonishing 344 deliveries. In spite of this strong display from Collingwood, wickets continued to fall around him. Prior displayed a moment of truly terrible batting when he edged one to first slip. Hauritz's second wicket of the innings. Flintoff gave a bit of stability to the batting line-up, lasting 89 balls but went feeling for a ball, wide of off-stump and edging it behind.

With the wickets of Swann and Broad falling, England found themselves in a situation where they were relying on James Anderson and Monty Panesar to see the side home, with a new ball just around the corner. The pace of Siddle was not enough to break through Monty's defence and the introduction of spin gave Anderson a chance to take the lead and knock 10 minutes off of the remaining playing time. This meant that if England could last until 6.40 pm, then defeat would be avoided.

Australia went for spin at both ends in the form of Nathan Hauritz and Marcus North, with the intention of fitting more overs into the remaining minutes. With 5 minutes left and the crowd cheering every dot ball as if it was a six. England's twelfth-man came sprinting onto the pitch with a change of gloves for Anderson. Ponting's face was a portrait of anger and frustration with the blatant attempts of time wasting and the twelfth-man soon left the pitch. A few overs later and the twelfth-man was back on with yet another change of gloves for Anderson, however this time he was being followed by the England physio who walked out, spoke to Panesar and walked off the pitch again. A much needed exchanging of words no doubt!

All this drama and tension set a perfect atmosphere for the final moments of this first test. The clock struck 6.40 pm and after some discussion between the batsmen, Ricky Ponting and the umpires, play ended and England had saved the test match in the most nail-biting finish to an Ashes test since Edgbaston 2005.

Only in an Ashes series will you find that grit and determination to never back down and that 'never say die' spirit. Day five at Cardiff is what the Ashes is all about!

Cantona, Sheringham, Larsson ... Owen?

Throughout his Old Trafford reign, Sir Alex Ferguson has had a habit of bringing in older, seemingly past their best players and reviving their career. The players that stick out are the likes of 'The King' Eric Cantona, Teddy Sheringham and Henrik Larsson, but could Michael Owen join that list? Or will he struggle to compete at the highest level again?


Michael Owen arrives at the club on a free transfer after his contract with Newcastle ran out, ending an injury plagued four seasons with the club. Upon signing he said "It feels great. I never even had it in my wildest dreams", but the big question is whether his injuries are behind him and he is ready to take his place in a top Premiership team and the England team.

Questions were also being asked of Alex Ferguson when he bought the likes of Cantona and Sheringham, but they went on to become two of the best strikers in the club's history. Cantona went on to help United win the Premier League and the FA Cup on more than one occasion. As for Sheringham, well he scored one of the most important goals in the club's history, a last minute equalizer to set up a dramatic treble victory in the '99 Champions League final.

Now Owen has a chance to prove all of his critics wrong. There is no doubting that he is one of the best finishers in Europe, and what he has lost in pace he has gained in experience and intelligence. However, his injuries still cast over him and raise questions about his ability to perform consistently. We wont know until the season starts but he possesses one thing that can't be lost, a true striker's instinct.

RIP Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

I was playing an intense game of CoD World at War Nazi Zombies with my friends online. The storms outside made the atmosphere even more intense. Lightning flashing and the thunder shouting was epic. However, the happy mood of my friends and I blocked out the dark world around us. I then heard a knock at my door, my auntie poked her head round and simply said "Michael Jackson has died". I went hollow.

It took me some time to process the information. My initial reaction was denial. I thought "No this can't be right". But after frantically rushing to the nearest news channel it was clear that the King of Pop had passed away. I post this article as a mere tribute to him, a tribute that is just one among many that have been created by a world in mourning. Facebook groups created, people buying his merchandise, radio stations playing his songs pretty much 24/7 - Everybody feels some sense of loss.

Now I understand that there were various controversial issues involving his personal life, accusations of child molestation, acts with his own children etc. You either take two views on this: You either understand that everyone is human, makes mistakes and see that clearly the man was confused thanks to his own abusive childhood which was stolen from him - or you make just out of order jokes and repeat the words "Pedo Pedo Pedo, Pedo with white glove" which I'm sure at least one asshole will leave on the comments section. If you do the latter I think you are incredibly narrow minded and you possibly have no shame (In short, you are Paris Hilton).

Remember him for his musical genius. Remember his incredible live performances. Remember his unique dance moves. Don't tell me you never tried to Moonwalk - we all have. All I can really say is that he will be sorely missed, from the Moonwalking of Billie Jean, the ABCs of the Jackson 5 to the scary video of Thriller, I think we all miss MJ, May He Rest In Peace.