Wife Swap Across the Pond

Now we all know the show Wife Swap, and probably all secretly enjoy watching a chavy ASBO filled family of brother-dads and sister-mums from Scunthorpe swap their mother figure with a Soho based family whose children vomit their parent's money straight into the g-strings of London's lapdancers. However, you're always going to get polar opposites being swapped over, as two incredibly similar families swapping wife roles would look as dull as Gordon Brown reading the dictionary. Yet it amazes me how the people on the show still haven't realised themselves that they're going to be trading places with someone totally different to them and their families. The shock that a picture perfect housewife from Cornwall experiences when she ends up living in a caravan with a Gypsy family is nice to watch as in you're mind a huge flashing sign pops up saying "CONFLICT IMMINENT", but I still find it baffling as she says things like "I didn't sign up for this" and "I can't believe this".

This shock is more evident in the American version, as the wives can be essentially the same but with an added ingredient that we in Britain got rid of, much like swine flu and mr bean. This element is religion. The Christianity fuelled families go beserek at morals, the lord's word, family values etc and when it's time for the rule changes to be implemented they freak out and go insane, pacing around their kitchen quoting various bible verses that don't make sense "The Lord's cheese shall not be grated - Matthew 3:17". It's actually a little bit scary to watch. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with religion or having a faith, all I'm saying (speaking as an 18 year old who thinks he knows it all when actually I can't even fry an egg, seriously, there's just too much aparatus involved) is that it just isn't as dominant in the media or society any more, sure we get things like Songs of Praise and The Heaven and Earth Show but that's not really anything, so when you get a huge dollop of American preacher material shoved on to your screen it's quite weird to watch, as you can't, quite, believe these people are being serious.

Now this is just a brief article, I'm only really writing it because I've had one too many pepsi's (or Fizzy Pop as it's known to anyone over 40) and can't sleep, and just watched a rather eye opening episode of the show in question.

Parking Mad

There are many things in this world that we just can't explain no matter how hard we try, £30 million for Dimitar Berbatov being a prime example. On my return to St Brendan's Sixth Form after a two week break I am left baffled once again.

A day doesn't go by without someone complaining about the lack of student parking within college and it is a point that has been brought to St Brendan's attention on numerous occasions. Despite all this, our college has decided to reduce student parking. That's right. REDUCE student parking. This has left me and many other students perplexed and annoyed by this decision.

If there isn't any possible room to fit in additional student parking within the college then that's fine. You can't allocate space if it isn't there. But to reduce student parking seems like a slap in the face to all the students who now have to either find a space around the industrial estate or to risk a £50 fine from McDonalds (I chose the latter, and received the expected punishment).

On top of all this, the repainted bays within the downsized parking in college are far too small. Unless you are willing to climb out of your boot or sun roof, you have no chance of leaving your car.

I have asked the college to explain their decision but I have received no answers as of yet. Apparently students should be seen and not heard.

Who Will Be Crowned Premier League Champions?

With the penultimate game of the Barclays Premier League season less than two months away and no clear favourite for the title as of yet, we analyse what chances the three main contenders have of being crowned as champions. The three main contenders in question are Arsenal, Chelsea and current holders, Man United.

Arsene Wenger's young Gunners are currently sat in third place and four points behind leaders Man United after dropping two points in the dying moments of Saturday's fixture against Birmingham. You cannot deny Arsenal's ability to play elegant and entertaining football, but you can accuse them of lack of fight.

Times have moved on since the tough-tackling, in-your-face Arsenal teams of old, however this new generation of Gunners seem to lacking any sense of physical presence. Fancy footwork and quick passing are brilliant when you are playing against relegation doomed Portsmouth, but as Man United and Chelsea proved, when faced with a physical challenge they crumble.

After Chelsea's demolition of fourth place battlers Aston Villa, Anceloti's men are still breathing heavily down United's necks, only one point adrift of the champions. Chelsea certainly have the squad to keep them going strong throughout the title race, and without the welcomed burden of Champions League fixtures, they can stay fully focused on the Premier League. They may have dropped points recently to the likes of Blackburn, but I can't see any team picking points from them in their remaining games bar one, Man United.

The two sides meet at Old Trafford this Saturday and it could very well be a title decider. In the past these fixtures have been a case of the unstoppable force and the immovable object and everyone is left with a disappointing draw. This time however, there is one factor that could decide the result of the game and maybe the title race. Wayne Rooney. The England striker has been in world class form this season and unless Chelsea are careful, the white Pele could end their title hopes.

For me, Man United are slight favourites to win the league. Although they are only one bad result away from loosing their lead, they have the best striker in the world at the moment, the strongest squad and they have a manager that has been in this position many times and has more often than not, walked away with the league title.

Man United are currently on eighteen titles overall, level with Liverpool's record that has haunted Manchester for many years. I believe that 2010 will be the season that they set a new record for four consecutive league but more importantly to all United fans, make Liverpool's league record redundant.

Here is my predicted top four for the Barclays Premier League 2009/10 season ...

1. Manchester United

2. Chelsea

3. Arsenal

4. Tottenham

"The Logic of Chance" Promises To Be Something Special

With the release date of their latest album looming, the pressure is on Hip-Hop duo Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip to battle the curse of the second album.

Earlier in the year we saw the release of 'Get Better', the first single on the new album, and I was relieved to see that these rising talents have not been affected by the inevitable problems the second album causes. Now Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip have released two new tracks onto their website and they have left this music fan shaking with anticipation like a smack-head awaiting his score.

The two new tracks that have left me in this state are 'Snobs' and 'Stake A Claim', both of which emulate anything from their first album. Snobs has one of the most sing-along choruses I've ever heard and Scroobius Pip's lyrics in Stake A Claim give you a real urge to hit the streets in rebellion, to fight those fat-cats in Parliament.

'The Logic of Chance' is due to be released March 15th and it follows the duo's highly successful first album, 'Angels'. Many artists crumble under the pressure of the second album, failing to match the high standards expected of them after an impressive entrance to the music scene. However, these two Essex lads seem to be handling the curse of the second album quite well, and have just focused on creating lovable, dance all night, sleep all day music.

To catch a listen of Snobs and Stake A Claim, click here!

Feel The LOVE

I consider this, at this point, the pinnacle release of my life ... Tom DeLonge

The Angels And Airwaves lead man is absolutely correct. After years of waiting and building anticipation, Angels And Airwaves have finally released their third album, LOVE, and it is truly epic.

In a time where every other band seems to be churning out the same generic sound; catchy/repetitive riffs, meaningless lyrics and all of which packaged in the familiar 'indie-rocker' way. Angels And Airwaves have continued to supply the music scene with some long awaited originality.

Their most notable traits that have made them so popular still remain in their new release and they have been emphasized to immense levels to create a totally unique sound. The band have invested heavily into developing even more synthesised effects into their songs, all of which create a euphoric feeling when listening to the album, especially in the instrumental track, 'Et Ducit Mundum Per Luce'.

However, the biggest breath of fresh air Angels And Airwaves have brought with this album is the sheer hard work and desire put in by everyone in the band to make LOVE as good as it can possibly be. In an interview before the release of the album, Tom DeLonge said, "There’s nothing that I have put more effort, more time, more heart, and more stress into than this release." It seems too many bands these days are desperate to write, record and release an album in the quickest possible time so they can begin to enjoy the rock 'n' roll lifestyle without the tremendous burden of actually creating music. Whereas the Angels And Airwaves philosophy is and has always been to create something with a clear message, no matter how long it takes. A characteristic which has to be admired.

One of the reasons behind the pure originality in the album is the fact that the album has been written as a score for an upcoming film, LOVE."It’s been a very long time since a band has attempted to make a motion picture associated with an album — So when you listen to the record, it’s not orthodox by any means. There’s a lot of interludes and segues that draw you in and transition you to different levels of excitement," Tom later explained.

This album is modern music at it's best. An utterly outstanding composition of music and with the band releasing it for free, you would have to be insane not to download it.

To get the album for free now, visit Fuel.TV

A Miserable Business

A similar scene occurs every time I attempt to use public transport, and I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of using this carefully executed facade. My knees bend slightly inwards, I put on the best cute-and-innocent face that I can muster and my voice turns somewhat high-pitched, as I daringly ask for a child ticket. An excruciatingly tense pause follows, as I wait for the verdict: I’m hoping that they are the type of driver that does not care how old you are, as long as you don’t pay them with that £20 note. This is by far the best kind, but is becoming some what of an endangered species in this day and age. The second type is less compliant; he asks for your age. However, when you assure them that you ARE fifteen, they nod in agreement, too naive to think that you might actually not be telling the truth. The third type is a force to be reckoned with. Due to your inability to show them any ID, you end up forking out an extra £3 or walking home in the rain - usually the latter.

The point that I’m really trying to make here is that our generation seems to be suffering from a severe case of not-a-child-but-not-an-adult-either syndrome. And the circumstances where we are considered to be an adult are beyond our control. The need to have to pay adult prices on the bus should bring on a whole load of privileges, the vote for example, or preferably the right to purchase alcohol. It seems we are being taken advantage of, our apparently “disposable” income is being snapped up by those corporations that can get away with classing under 18’s as adults.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not promoting the idea of regressing back to our play school years, however tempting the thought of free milk and digestive biscuits may seem. In fact I take quite the opposite stance; I wouldn’t mind paying extra if it meant people would take us more seriously. I mean, we can’t even qualify for the full adult minimum wage until we are 21, and by that time most of us will have accumulated about £20,000 in dept. It seems the only privilege gained when you turn 16 is being charged extra for things. But don’t worry, there’s always that faint glimmer of hope when you buy your first lottery ticket! (Oh the irony).

I suppose this is simply a reflection of the world in which we now live, where freddos no longer cost just 10p - no doubt the era of the glorious 1p sweet is long over. And as for the Bristol bus service, it looks like we’re going nowhere fast - quite literally.

Capello Crumbles Under Media Pressure

Media witch hunt leaves John Terry Stripped of the captaincy

Last Friday evening Fabio Capello made his first noticeable mistake as England manager. After one of the most publicised weeks in John Terry's career, the England boss decided to give in to the media's pressure and relieve the Chelsea skipper of his duty as captain.

John Terry was drowning in a sea of front and back page headlines after it was revealed that he had been cheating on his wife with Vanessa Perroncel, the ex-girlfriend of Manchester City left-back Wayne Bridge. That's when the newspapers decided to get together, light their torches, sharpen their pitch-forks and have themselves a good old fashioned witch hunt.

In a statement released by Fabio Capello a few hours after his decision, he explained, "As a captain with the team, John Terry has displayed extremely positive behaviour. However, I have to take into account other considerations and what is best for all of the England squad. What is best for all of the England team has inspired my choice."

Very admirable you may think, however Capello still hasn't eliminated the possibility of any problems within the England changing room. He may not be leading the team out to South Africa but John Terry will continue to be a dominant figure within the England team. He will continue to be a big influence within the squad.

So any fear of tension in the England team has not been avoided. Not by a long shot!

Fabio Capello has set a dangerous precedent for English football. From this moment on, every England captain that has a slightly checkered past or makes a mistake in their personal life shall be stripped of their honour and fed to the rabid media hounds.

The prestigious award of leading your country as captain has been whittled down from the best man for the job, to the most popular media figure.

Rooney Heads To Wembley

Wayne Rooney's header leaves Manchester City 3-1 down with only seconds remaining

The two teams lined up under the flood lights last night for what was one of the most eagerly anticipated Manchester Derbies in years. The first leg left a bitter taste within the United team as ex-red Carlos Tevez bagged two at Eastlands and taunted the United fans after claiming he was not treated with respect whilst at the club. All of which, along with the prospect of reaching another Carling Cup final, made winning the second leg vital for Manchester United.

The first half was a sea of half chances and it wasn't until the second half that either of the side's keepers were truly tested. When Micah Richard's long range shot seemed destined for the top corner, Edwin Van Der Sar pulled off a phenomenal save high to his left to keep the sides level.

Paul Scholes was the man to break the deadlock after Wayne Rooney played an inch perfect pass to Ryan Giggs who played it back to Portuguese youngster, Nani. After a goal mouth scramble the ball rolled out to Scholes at the edge of the area and he struck home his first League Cup goal in seven years.

It was only 20 minutes later that Carrick passed the ball into the the Manchester City net with great precision and skill after some good build up play by Nani and Darren Fletcher, who later picked up the Man of the Match award. United thought that with less than 20 minutes to go and the aggregate score at 3-2, their place at Wembley was a guarantee. That was until Carlos Tevez continued to haunt his former side by beating Rio Ferdinand in the air to get onto the end of Craig Bellamy's cross and level the aggregate score at 3-3.

With a matter of seconds remaining on the clock, United upped the pressure on City's defence to try and force a winner before extra time. After a world class save by Shay Given prevented Darren Fletcher late on, United gained another corner and it was truly the last possible attack of normal time. United took the corner quick and a one-two between Giggs and new boy Antonio Valencia set up Ryan Giggs to deliver a dangerous cross into the box and inform Rooney got on the end of it and snatched yet another late winner for the reds.

After the memorable 4-3 Manchester derby earlier in the season, no one was surprised to see a high scoreline between the clubs, but I don't think anyone could have imagined the drama on show last night. City's hopes of ending their 34 year trophy drought have taken a hit and now they have to rely on the F.A Cup for any hope of silverware this season.

Not only was this a great Carling Cup semi-final but it was a great derby game, and with Man City's bottomless pit of money growing ever larger, we can only expect this rivalry to grow.

Teens Only Have 800 Word Vocabulary?

Proposed 800 word vocabulary will leave teens jobless

According to government child language adviser, Jean Gross, today's modern teenagers have a vocabulary of no more than 800 words. A vocabulary filled with the phenomenon that is 'teen-speak'. She calls for action to be taken urgently to ensure that today's youth do not struggle to find work because of their inabilities to communicate. This warning comes just a week after she claimed that television is damaging children's development.

"We need to help today's teenagers understand the difference between their text speech and the formal language they need to succeed in life - 800 words will not get you a job," Mrs Gross explained in an interview earlier this week.

The majority of teenagers should have, on average 40,000 words within their vocabulary by the age of 16. However, linguists believe that although teenagers do understand tens-of-thousands of words, they only use approximately 800 of them in daily speech. Jean Gross believes that this is due to social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace and Twitter. "Teenagers are spending more time communicating through electronic media and text messaging, which is short and brief," she added.

Mrs Gross is planning a campaign to take place next year amongst primary and secondary schools across Britain. The focus behind the campaign is to get students understanding the importance of good communication skills to ensure the best possible future for the younger generations.

The idea of teens only using 800 words out of their 40,000 strong vocabulary seems a bit far-fetched to me, but if this is true then there is every right for concern.

A New Year, Same Old Us!

All of us here at The New Wave hope you had a fattening Christmas and an intoxicating New Year.

We aim to recover from the holidays and break our new year's resolutions as soon as we can so that we can attack your eyes with our sexy journalism once again!

So, until then .... Bye bye!

Interscope Pull The Plug On Manson

The world's most notorious shock-rocker has been dropped by his record label due to disappointing album sales in the U.S.

It has been revealed that after Marilyn Manson's latest album 'The High End of Low' sold little more than 120,000 copies in America, Interscope have decided to part ways with the band.

The album has been heavily criticised amongst the music world, with the band being accused of loosing their edge after the film 'Bowling For Columbine' revealed the intelligent and sensitive side of Marilyn Manson.

"After the film, his mystique as the 'God Of Fuck', scourge of society dissipated; he was understood, even appreciated and the game's been up ever since."

NME claimed the above statement in their album review of 'The High End of Low'. They added, "This album is full of self-pitying dirges which give the impression of a slightly sad man-child sulking about girls in his bedroom."

This opinion seems to be a shared one amongst music critics. All of them complaining that Manson's new album has lost it's edge and by opening himself up to the public he has revealed his true self and no longer has that dark mystery to his persona that was so evident back in the days of 'Holy Wood'. However, despite the heavy criticism and the loss of their record label, Marilyn Manson promises that this is only the beginning.

"I was so restrained from the music that I wanted to make ... At least half of my creative output has been squashed, so now I think people can expect a whole lot more." Manson revealed in an interview with Metal Hammer.

He also announced that he is working on new material, reminiscent of David Bowie's 'Aladdin Sane'. "I think it will be more badass ... I think it's going to be more romantic maybe. Self abusive."

The end of Interscope and Marilyn Manson could be a blessing in disguise for the band. With more creative freedom and complete control we may see more of the Manson of old, or we could see the emergence of something completely unique and original.

All eyes will now be on the band after two consecutive albums failing to impress the critics, but Manson won't be taking notice of what the critics and reviewers say and neither will his fans.

In the words of the iconic shock-rocker, "Music critics get their records for free so their opinions usually don't matter."

Killing the Undead - Again

When Valve announced that Left 4 Dead 2 was in development some time ago, there were mixed reactions within the gaming community. Some were happy to hear of a second installment of this year's Online Game of the Year, the first being a huge success with both fans and critics. Although some people were slightly mifted that they did not spend more time nurturing Left 4 Dead 1, with the lack of DLC maps being rather fleeting and downplayed (Xbox 360 owners being rather annoyed that the PC version was given their downloadable content free but them being required to pay 540 Microsoft Points, however this WAS NOT Valve's decision).

Upon playing it I can only applaude Valve at another fine display of their work. Left 4 Dead 2 takes all the elements that made the first so enjoyable and capitalised on them, making them bigger and more badass than they were in the first. Understandably some people may just think that this Left 4 Dead with a fresh coat of paint, just with different characters and new maps. Thankfully they couldn't be more wrong. Left 4 Dead 2 features 4 new unique and comical characters, all with distinctive backgrounds, dialogue and attitudes. Valve gives you intense action with some dark humour injected into parts, with the characters occasionally mocking one another during the very sparce calm moments.

There are 4 new faces to play as in the campaigns: Coach (my personal favourite), a high school gym teacher that looks like Danny Glover if he let himself go and speaks in very much the same way (if you dont't know what I mean, please see Predator 2). Nick, a suave gambler that is slightly cocky but is still a solid team player. Rochelle, a hot head very much in the mould of Zoe from L4D 1 and finally Ellis, a friendly yet simple red neck who has an attitude like Francis in that shooting nearly everything alive pleases him no end.

The campaigns this time around still maintain the same "Movie" type style but with a much stronger narrative than before. In the first, it was unclear whether each campaign was linked or they were seperate ideas but now it is clearly shown that one follows on from where the previous finishes and the true finale is on The Parish campaign (Campaign 5). These stories are populated with new special infected (as if the first lot weren't bad enough) there are even more annoying super powered zombies to try and make you epic fail. The Jockey that takes control of a Survivour and steers him around in deadly areas populated with hundreds of infected. Spitter, a lanky woman who shoots dangerous acid that makes an area toxic for a short period, her ability mainly being designed to keep the survivours apart, maybe leaving one guy on his own and having to fend for himself until the acid subsides. The Charger, who wears dungerees (which is hilarious) and rams through the group to split them up. He also has the ability to pick up and carry one survivour a worrying amount of feet and them slam them into the ground over and over. One of his arms is also huge. Thought you might like to know that.....

In addition to this there are also uncommon infected, who don't have special abilities as such but do have something a little different about them. One is unique to each campaign, Clowns being confined to the Carnival where they have the ability to lead common zombies, Infected CEDA Agents have resilient suits and can use Boomer Bile, Army infected are unaffected by pistol bullets and Swampy Mudmen obscure your vision when they hit you. So there are plenty of dangerous undead mo fos to watch out for.

Valve's unique strength again comes from its random element generator and "The Director", an AI generator that seemingly controls the environment, chooses what special infected to spawn and where, when to launch a horde wave attack etc but has now been refined. Not only this, according to how fast or slow you are moving or how good or bad you are doing, your path to the holy safe room can be a straightforward path or a complex maze of constant corners. I think that element that made L4D 1 so replayable was the fact that you would never play the same game twice. Now this variety has been expandable, instead of just the standard SMG/M16 you are given a whole host of weapons, some of which look borrowed from a game featuring warfare of a very modern kind. Aww if I only I could remember the name of it......Never mind. You can keep your distance and pick off infected heads with a Sniper Rifle or sprint round giving the zombies the old 3 burst fire from a Scar-H. Melee weapons have also been introduced but these take the place of your pistol(s) so you must choose whether you want to twang heads with a guitar or take a Deagle on your travels.

All in all this game is a solid buy, Valve have outdone themselves once again, providing us with a new modern L4D which we can all get down to. If you do find yourself wondering whether to purchase a game where on the box art a zombie is giving you the peace sign, just remember, you get to kill zombies. Thousands of them. Over and over again. Plus the sight of a Tank in tight jeans is worth seeing because its just so funny.

Killing in the Name Of.. Good Music

Ok, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. You may have heard of a reality TV programme called the X Factor. For those not in the know it's an annoying show where contestants compete for who has the biggest sob story, the judges fight over who can be the most controversial and Simon Cowell sees how much money he can rake in through week after week of telephone voting. Oh, and there's also a bit of singing thrown in too.

Now, every year that the X Factor has been on, the winner has gone on to receive the 'prestigious' title of Christmas Number One in the mainstream music charts through clever marketing and over-advertising. All a bit boring really if you ask me. Where's the competition if we all know already that whatshisface is going to win with his sappy, vomit inducing cover of a Miley Cyrus song? Miley bloody Cyrus. Has it really come to this?!

So, there's this little campaign to offer an alternative to the X Factor winner's single, in the form of Rage Against The Machine's Killing in the Name Of. Of the millions of alternative songs that could have been chosen to provide the nation with an antidote to this musical twaddle, I'm not too sure why they chose this one. Even so, it'd be quite refreshing to see if it ends up in the chart- alongside that slushy song by the Soldiers and Mariah Carey.

Let's face it, music today is more about making money than acute craftsmanship. More about shifting units than penning beautiful, catchy melodies, at least when it comes to pop music (Lady Gaga being a possible exception). So why not have some fun with it?

If you want to join in this experiment that's already received praise from the likes of 6 Music and NME Magazine, then go buy it on iTunes or Amazon THIS WEEK.

Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip Can't Help But 'Get Better'

After the huge success of 'Angles' everyone was waiting to see how Den Le Sac and Scroobius Pip could possibly top it. Every song was packed with catchy beats, thought provoking lyrics and left massive expectations for their following album.

Finally, the duo have released a little teaser for us all to ponder over until the album is released. The track is titled 'Get Better' and it doesn't disappoint. Not in the slightest! The song has stuck to the basic principles that has served them so well in the past. Dan Le Sac's addictive beats and bass lines fuse beautifully with Scroobius Pip's poetic and memorable lyrics.

You can hear 'Get Better' on BBC iPlayer for the next seven days and then it will be posted on Dan Le Sac's MySpace.

I'm sure many of you are crying out at your computer screens, "I WANT TO SEE THEM LIVE!". Well never fear. The hip-hop duo have announced that they will be performing at Bristol's very own O2 Academy next March.

To get more information about tickets go to www.o2academybristol.co.uk

Ranting and Review

Getcha Freak On

Sensing lack of movie reviews on this blog, (which may I add are a fetish of mine), I decided that I’d go ahead and knock together one for you. I figured the most sensible thing to do would be to review the last film I watched which was X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I guess it’s a good thing that I have a lot to say about this movie then, isn’t it? So this is my first blog and movie review, spliced with a lot of nerd ranting a long the way. Enjoy.



Stepping back and attempting to analyse it from an entirely ‘non-comic book geek’ point of view, I can point out both the good and bad. The film in itself was well constructed with impressive special effects. The acting was better than passable and the script was well written. I found the storyline to be highly predictable, bar perhaps the ending (which was like WHOA, WTF DUDE, NOT EXPECTING THAT). One thing that narked me off a little as a viewer was the scene in with the actual ‘dead pool’ where they meld the ‘adamantium’ to Wolverine’s skeleton. Yes, movies are bound to have hiccups, but when I watched all the other X-Men films and we saw the shattered memories that Logan still had of the laboratory, I imaged some gritty, secretive underground place where illegal and gruesome experiments happen. They had clips of him looking at his new claws, mortified, with blood all over his hands. The tank water was green and the tank was dirty looking. It makes you ponder how the bloody hell he ended up there and made me really feel for him as a character. A shiny lab where a minutes worth of, admittedly unimaginable, pain was inflicted to avenge :Spoilers: the death of a girlfriend he’d known five minutes, makes me think: Oh. Okay then.

Jumping into nerd mode as a gal who loves her comic books; THIS IS ALL WRONG. I’m a huge fan of the X-Men films andf I’ll be the first to say that I’m not a big fan of Wolverine. I just never took to him. I do, however, freaking obsess over Deadpool (the character, not the tank thing). I knew I was going to watch the film anyhoodles because I like the X-Men films, but when I found out that Deadpool aka Wade Wilson was in it and being played by Ryan Reynolds, I made a noise somewhere between a cough and a gasp, then proceeded to fall off of my chair. Not only is Ryan the hottest human being in the whole of, like, earth, but his comedic talent, wit and superb improvisational skills share a direct parallel with Deadpool’s. No one else could play him. Yes, yes, he was played superbly. Ryan nailed the part and really captured the essence of Wade, Kat was impressed, blahdeblahdeblah. BUT HE WAS IN IT FOR ALL OF ABOUT 8 SECONDS. I watched the entirety of the film waiting for him to pop up somewhere again and did he? Yes. :Spoilers: Right at the end of the bloody film, replaced by a body double with laser eyes, the ability to teleport and with his mouth removed. Yeah, alright then. Its not like his nickname in the comics was Merc with the Mouth or anything and now he’s even had that taken away from him. He wasn’t nearly as deformed as he should have been, the guy was supposed to be riddled with cancer and tumours. The reason he ended up so powerful was cancer treatment gone-wrong. AND WHERE WAS THE BREAKING OF THE FORTH-WALL?! I won’t go into anymore detail then I have about him, or you’ll stop reading (if you haven’t already) but the effing up of Deadpool left me one severely pissed off little dork. Although him popping up LIKE THAT at the end was probably one of the only unpredictable bits in the whole of the film. I was NOT expecting that.

Not only did they bastardize Deadpool but they demolished Emma Frost’s character (that one who turns to diamond). Not only is she supposed to be a villain, she’s supposed to look like an absolute slut. Imagine if Paris Hilton we’re a blow up doll, with bigger boobs and wearing nothing but lingerie. You’d think that the media would jump at the chance of exploiting hot, half naked women.

In all fairness, I like what they did with the character of Gambit. I not sure what the other fans will think but I thought they made him passably like his character from the comics and undeniably cool. All his powers were the same, he looked similar, had the right accent and there was a lovely fight scene between him and Wolverine.

If I were to give a percentage out of ten for this film, it would probably be a five. Perhaps a six if I’m feeling generous, for lack of accuracy and serious predictability. The marks are for the enjoyment factor and special effects. It was entertaining I guess, I didn’t get horribly bored at any point and it’s a half decent spin off of the X-Men films. It would probably work better as a movie if it had nothing to do with the comics and stood alone as a film. The Deadpool fangirl in me is going to have to wait a couple of years for it, but it has been announced that a Deadpool film is being made for 2011/12 and Ryan is playing him! EXCITEMENT! Apparently its going to be absolutely accurate, complete with deformities and fourth-wall breaking HURRAH!!…

…I should have been born a boy. Probably as Sheldon from the Big-Bang Theory, proceeding re-reading this article.

Hope you enjoyed my review, now go do something constructive. I’m in the mood for some comic reading after all this. I’m off to go read my ‘Issue #19 of the Deadpool series’ which has just arrived this morning courtesy of eBay. Gosh, I’m such a nerd.

'LOVE' Trailer Revealed

For many months forum-lovers have been debating and arguing their theories and thoughts about the Angels And Airwaves film, 'LOVE', but now we finally have a trailer for next year's Valentines day treat.

The film is about an astronaut's battle to save himself when left stranded alone in orbit as his life support systems begin to fade away, as does his sanity. Lee Miller's world within the International Space Station becomes one of extreme loneliness and claustrophobia until he makes a strange discovery aboard the ship. LOVE is driven by the powerful music of Angels And Airwaves and expresses man's need for connection and the overwhelming power of hope and belief.

The film is due to be released on Valentines day 2010 and will coincide with the release of their third album, also titled LOVE. After the immense success of the band's two previous albums, We Don't Need To Whisper and I-Empire, LOVE is one of the most anticipated albums of 2010.

So for all of you who are shaking with anticipation, here it is .... LOVE

ODST: Original Dynasty or Shockingly Terrible?

Your alone. In the dead of night. Stuck in a city you've never set foot in before and the things around you want to rip you limb from limb. No not Manchester, its the city of New Mombasa which is where the event of Bungie's latest installment in the Halo saga, Halo 3: ODST takes place. Taking place somewhere between the events of Halos 2 and 3, ODST puts you in control of a rookie Orbital Drop Shock Trooper named (wait for it).......Rookie. Alright, so we never really find out his name or see his face, but he still looks pretty cool and is a nice break from playing the same old Spartan Master Chief, however cool Sierra 117 may be.

After a botched deployment, you as the rookie are separated from the rest of your squadron and wake up 6 hours later, emerging into the city at night and have to search for them. This night time scenario serves as a type of hub, and depends on you finding various objects at certain locations, maybe a broken sniper rifle or destroyed gauss cannon, after which u flashback to how the object ended up there, jumping back in time a few hours and taking the role of each of your squad members. The focus on story-telling in this edition is dynamic, clever and original, breaking away from the traditional linear story line plots of most FPSs. Even though the docile environment of the night may seem like you have missed all the action, the flashback roles of your squad that take place during the day are full of fast paced action and shooting. It can range from steering a Scorpion tank through the narrow roads and streets, flying a Banshee in and around the skyscrapers to fighting your way to your ship 100 billion feet off the ground (the numbers may need to be checked). Whatever the situation, Bungie seem to have covered all their bases and in all fairness they've done it quite well.

The inclusion of the new Firefight mode, a mode similar to the Horde in Gears of War 2, sees you try to survive waves and waves of Covenant forces who will attempt to plasma your shields, sticky grenade your face and Gravity Hammer your unmentionables. This mode (like Horde) is not just that you get more and more Grunts running at you. For starters, the infamous skulls of the Halo universe are turned on, with more activating after each round is finished, each round consisting of 5 waves and each Set consisting of 3 rounds. So to recap, 5 Waves = 1 Round - 3 Rounds = 1 Set. Each wave within the round gets progressively harder, with Wave 1 consisting of grunts and jackals, with the final waves containing Hammer and Fuel Rod Brutes as well as everyone's most hated party guest, Hunters. This mode is obviously designed to replace the missing multiplayer matchmaking, that instead taken care of by the addition of the 2nd disc which includes every single map to date as well as the unreleased half of the Mythic Maps. Designed to be taken on by you and 3 friends will obviously be much better and 20 times more enjoyable than you having to make a stand all by yourself with nothing but a Plasma Pistol.

All in all, this is a tidy little game. The campaign is a decent amount of fun, albeit much shorter than the other Halo campaigns, but still good enough to keep people interested. 30 pounds for 2 discs worth of Halo is a neat price but if you have Halo 3 and also purchased the DLC multiplayer bundles, you're kind of paying for it again, which will put many people off. But if your a Halo fan, you will probably add this to your collection.

A Happy Return To Moscow! Next Stop, Liverpool ...

The early kick-off last night in the Champions League group stages saw Manchester United return to the very same stadium they experienced Champions League glory in a nail biting penalty shoot out against Chelsea, two seasons back. Winning 1-0 against CSKA Moscow to put them 5 points ahead of second in the group and it also saw United equal Ajax's long standing away record, remaining undefeated in 14 consecutive Champions League away fixtures.

It was a match very much restricted by the artificial turf, with both sides opting to play short passes with and not taking any risks. The narrowness of the CSKA formation allowed a lot of room for Nani and Fabio to exploit down the left hand side. It was a traditional Manchester United away performance in Europe, very patient, lots of possesion and in the end just one goal separated the two sides with Berbatov's flick-on finding new-boy Valencia at the far post to strike the ball past CSKA captain, Igor Akinfeev.

A strong performance by United but now the attention focuses on Sunday's fixture against a Liverpool side who are still shaky after a late 2-1 loss to Lyon and a controversial wonder-strike by a beach ball. Liverpool owner George Gillett has today come out and stated that Rafa has their full support and backing, but a loss on Sunday would leave the Merseyside team 10 points behind the champions and surely out of the title race.

United seem to have adapted to life without Ballon D'or winner Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez, however it doesn't look like Liverpool can even cope without Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, let alone adapt!

The Top 5 Guitar Hero Games

If your torn between which game you should rock your socks off to, allow me to lend some help. What with the recent arrival of Guitar Hero 5 and The Beatles: Rock Band, it seems that many people are rushing out to buy the latest installments when actually, you could probably get an older, better and cheaper game with much better songs on it. I shall tell you (in my opinion) which are the top five Guitar Hero games to buy, allowing you to drum, sing and strum yourself silly. Let us begin at the beginning (great place to begin)...

1. Guitar Hero Metallica

Dear lord there has never been more an intense shredding session than GH Metallica! One of the best and most intense bands of the 20th century has a whole setlist devoted to their greatness! I have chosen this first as I think it is the most fun and has some of my favourite songs on it. Getting to play things like Fade to Black, Fight Fire with Fire, Wherever I May Roam, Mercyful Fate and Fuel makes my fingers orgasm with delight. Activision has paid great homage to the band, with incredible likeness and detail going into everything from Lar's drumsticks to Rob's qudad ponytails, which they failed to do back in Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, with Lars giving his sly smirks, James being intensly central and interacting with the crowd and Rob and Kirk just being immense. This is only for the hardcore expert player or a true Metallica fan, as playing on Medium is slightly bittersweet in my view as you can play the song but know your missing probably half the notes out. Not only does this game feature the gods of metal but it also features bands that have either inspired or been inspired by Metallica, such bands as Queen, Mastadon, Machine Head, System of a Down and Bob Seger. This game probably won't be for everyone, but in my view is the best GH game Activision have made.

2. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock

This was the first ever GH game I owned, the one that sparked my love affair with the 5 coloured buttons. This game is a great mix of difficulties, varied songs and has unlimited playability. There's something in there for everyone, from the chillaxed Indie fan (When You Were Young by The Killers, Reptilia by The Strokes and Helicopter by Bloc Party), to the old school rock and roll people (Cities on Flame by Blue Oyster Cult, Rock and Roll All Night by KISS and Rock You Like a Hurricane by The Scorpions) to the intense metal heads (tracks like One by Metallica, Raining Blood by Slayer and Before I Forget by Slipknot). This game has all the necessary ingredients to keep every type of Guitar Hero happy. The achievements aren't bad either, and also has the best and easiest hit system to date, not to mention DLC packs like DragonForce, Muse and Velvet Revolver.

3. Guitar Hero World Tour

This isn't really one of my favourites but I think it would suit most people as the songs are the most varied mix. Very different music types all blended into one setlist and plus this was the first introduction of all instruments in a Guitar Hero game (Rock Band's Rock in a Box being the first). Not many songs keep me happy on that game so I'm found to be playing Assassin by Muse, Trapped Under Ice by Metallica and Pull Me Under by Dream Theater over and over, but would recommend this for most people as this is slightly less intense and easier to pick up and play than GH3: LoR. The size of the setlist is huge compared to the previous installments, and the range of online modes is a nice change of pace from the usual Face-off, Pro Face-off and Co-op modes, with the introduction of new instruments allowing each song to have 3 seperate note tracks and allowing veteran players to get to grips with guitar, drums and vocals.

4. Guitar Hero 5

The latest installment is probably a decent buy, with 85 songs by 83 artists showing that Activision is really casting its net to the far corners of society to capture anyone and everyone it can. Music ranging from Bob Dylan to Arctic Monkeys and Blink 182 sounds like a good idea on paper with the company trying to please everyone, but the lack of focus here is a let down for me. However, the simplicity of the game makes it very user friendly, even for people who are over 40 and have a phobia of the joypad. There is just one big main menu, with the confusing to navigate mini menus that littered the previous titles being removed and the game being revamped to make it more appealing to newcomers without offending the hardcores. The drop in drop out play is a welcome feature, with your friends able to just join in, pick and instrument and jump right in with you. The tedious procedure of playing the early, easy and somewhat mundance songs in career mode has been eliminated and the career is now based on how many stars you can earn, allowing you to have alot more control and overall, fun. The in-song and band challenges will keep the addicts and completionists coming back for more. Overall I would this is a safe option as your first buy, but wouldn't being up 'til 3am on ebay outbidding some guy from poland to get it

5. Guitar Hero II

This is very old school, and so it obviously does has its flaws but you can tell that Activision, Harmonix and RedOctane had real bash and putting together this title. The hit system is very difficult to nail, as a slight mistime of a hammer on can shoot your note streak straight out of the sky, also it is very hard to differentiate between what is a normal note and what is a hammer-on/pull-off due to the poor and sketchy visuals but I suppose that is not what the game is about, it's about rocking. This has a decent mix of songs, both challenging and fun. The major downside is that the tracks you play aren't the master versions, so they will be the re-recorded versions that the companies themselves have done. This doesnt really affect the guitar track but vocal differences is blatantly obvious (listen to the version of Sweet Child O Mine and you'll see). The lack of online co-op really hurts the game, with your friends who own the game not being able to play with you online is real smack in the nether regions. However, when all is said and done, what matters on these games is the music and this game (considering when it was made) is a real gem, plus it has the best working guitar they've made so far.

Well I hope these concise and, fairly arrousing paragraphs, helped u in any decision making you have to do, or it may have been some non-sensical and intoxicated ramblings of a man with far too much time to spare but nonetheless, it was a pleasure.

England Failing To Impress

The entire nation had high hopes for England succeeding in the one day series with Australia after their inspirational Ashes victory. We were putting aside the fact that England are notoriously disappointing when it comes to the one day form of the game because we had the momentum.

'Momentum' was the key word in the build up to this post-Ashes series. However as the England team are proving, momentum can't make up for a severe lack of quality within the team.

The one series series started off poorly with both Twenty-twenty games being completely rained off, bar the Australian innings in the first match, but the 50 overs matches was when the real action began and England were going to "send the Aussies back empty handed" according to many fans. But we are still yet to see any 'action' from this specialist England side!

The batting line-up continues to look fragile without Kevin Pieterson with the likes of Ravi Bopara and Owais Shah still not producing the big innings' required from them at this level and the most experience batsman there, Paul Collingwood, doesn't seem capable of hitting it off the square!

I don't think anyone was expecting a fantastic performance from England, due to their poor history in the one day game, but I think we were all expecting a bit more fight and passion coming from this Ashes winning side. The series isn't finished so there is still a chance of saving some dignity, but the fact is that England's performances as of yet have been much like the English summer, disappointing.

We're Back!

Smell that? It's the scent of top quality journalism!

Over the summer holidays, we spent every waking moment thinking of how we can make The New Wave an even bigger success after our great first year, and we came up with ..... Well, nothing really!

But never fear! We are back and it won't be long until our journalistic-meat is making love to your screens once again!

DLC = We're Not Made of Money

Just before I begin to properly write this, I should let you know I own an Xbox 360 and have done for 5 years (and I'm happy with my choice) so I'm going to be writing this from a Microsoft point of view. I won't exclude any PS3 owners who read this and I won't "diss" you or your console, I'm just letting you know which side of the fence I'm on.

This is a post to all the hardcore, proper old-school gamers out there, people who actually work the behinds off to get Achievements and/or Trophies. Over the years, games have, on the whole, been either retail 1000 Gamerscore or have an additional 1250G to get. However, over the last year or so, Downloadable Content has just become ridiculous. Game scores going up to random and ridiculous numbers - Fallout 3 = 1450 (so far!) - Gears of War 2 = 1425 (so far!) - Halo 3 = 1750 - Its pandemonium I tell you!

I didn't have a problem with DLC to begin with, I actually quite welcomed the idea. Developers had a good idea after the game had been released which they wanted to incorporate and so released it as DLC a few months after the release for the fee of 800 Microsoft Points, even a few extra achievements to go with it. Now however, instead of thinking of ideas after the game has come out, developers try to think of DLC beforehand, ready to charge people extra before the game itself has even come out - DLC is announced before the f******* retail game is even on the shelves!

There are some DLC packs worth paying for e.g. pretty much all of Fallout 3's packs (which I think is one of the best games ever made and doesn't always get the respect it deserves, people escape the Vault and give up) Point Lookout in the Swamps with Inbreds, Broken Steel changing the ending to the game completely, The Pitt allowing you to liberate the slaves of Pittsburgh and Operation: Anchorage sending you "back in time" to relive the freedom of Alaska from Chinese forces, the originality of the content was admirable. Also the maps of Nazi Zombies on CoD: World at War are also very much worth the money, a story generating out it (which I applaud) was what sold it for me but the carnage and fun of the never-ending game mode provides hours of enjoyment.

Now however, every single game released now has DLC ready and some games which were released over a year ago are bringing out content now. Not being rude, but double you tee eff (WTF). I just think game designers + developers need to see we aren't made of money, we can't pay for every single DLC pack on every game and its very annoying for achievement getters when a game we maxed months ago gets 12 new DLC achievements.

Any 360 Gamers out there let me know what you think but if your one of those people that just play Call of Duty 4 and FIFA 09 with a Gamerscore between 500 to 2000 G, don't leave a comment because it'll just be something like "M16 BeAsT! 4 Life - I use JuGGerNauT so What?"

If you want to add me on Xbox LIVE my Gamertag is xJimiHendrix92x

New Generation of Comedy

Due to the shitty weather destroying my tv signals, I have recently been forced to take refuge in Internet TV. Luckily, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a show I heared alot about but never remembered to watch it. This show is called The Inbetweeners. Some of you may now be saying "Oh yeah I watch it all the time" but there may be a fair number of people reading this thinking "Oh yeah I've heard of that but I haven't seen it............yet". Allow me to enlighten you.

It revolves around the central character of William McKenzie, affectionately known by his classmates as "Briefcase Wanker". His dad has left his mum (why, I do not know) and he now has to finish off his education at a normal state comprehensive. Fortunately for him, three pupils befriend him. However at the same time, these three aren't at the top of the popularity tree. Simon, Jay and Neill all welcome Will in to their tiny group, in which they all discuss one dominant topic: Sex. The simple formula of boys trying to shag girls works brilliantly thanks to the performances of the 4 young cast members. The boys all differ slightly in their group and it is well balanced. Also, you can often compare some of your friends to one of the four.

Will provides the narrative and the perspective from which we get the story. He is well mannered and brown-noses the teachers and parents. The insults bounce off him since he's had so much abuse but most of the time brings it on himself, like wearing a tight black vest top which usually buff gay body builders wear. Simon is probably my favourite, the all-rounder of the group. He is nice to girls but enjoys sex like the others and joins in with the dirt talk. However, he is obsessed with trying to get with a girl named Carli, but his romantic gestures often backfire hilariously. Jay is pure dirt, always focusing on girls as fuckable objects and non-stop talks about sex and often insults the others for no reason, either saying he'd fuck Will's mum or how he'd stay away from Neill's dad. He exaggerates his sexual escapades whenever possible which Will often instantly dismisses as bogus. Finally there's Neill, a gentle but confused soul. He is Jay's right hand man and usually follows his lead. Just as sex crazed as the rest, Neill's happy face and child-like mannerisms make him the comic relief.

What I like most about the show, is that these 4 boys have an amazingly bad (and funny) time doing things such as going to London for a night out or going on a field trip to a seaside town but they're not ridiculously farfetched either, so the credibility remains which I think is important.

There are also a few other characters who make an appearence who provide classic moments. Neill's dad (Whose not bent) constantly denies his homosexuality, as does Neill, but then eventually gets called a "Bum-der" by Will after a few drinks. Will's mum (possibly the definition of the word MILF) is often the focal point of the boy's fantasies. Simon's parents (his dad especially) who openly discuss their sexual relations in front of and to him, something that would make us all turn away in disgust, to be honest I'd rather mix electricity and water than parents and sex. Gilbert, the school's headteacher, who doesn't take bullshit from anyone and also doesn't believe in grassing. Donovan, the bully who terrorises the boys every now and then, mostly Will since he somehow stole Charlotte Hingecliff AKA Charlotte Bigjuggs off him. But my favourite of all is Patrice, Simon's french exchange who quickly rises above the boy's popularity levels and even manages to shag Charlotte before Will does, all in one episode. He barely says anything, chain smokes and wears a leather jacket. The man is amazing.

The best thing I think I like about this though is that I feel it's captured our generations sense of humour perfectly. For instance, when Will shouts at some seagulls out of nowhere, or when Jay shoots a flare up in the air when they're only about 50ft away from the harbour in broad daylight, these moments I find for whatever reason amazingly funny. I feel that my parents or anyone over the age of 30 probably wouldn't find The Inbetweeners funny, but I don't think they're supossed to. With our generation there has a evolved a new sense of humour I feel, one which finds some of the most peculiar things just lol worthy.

If you haven't already, check out The Inbetweeners at 4 on Demand where you can watch all episodes of both series.

Final Day Drama Captures Ashes Spirit!

What an advert for test cricket! With the recent surge of Twenty/20 cricket, people were beginning to question how exciting test cricket is in comparison, however, the fifth day at Cardiff proved how nail-biting test cricket is, and how special the Ashes truly are!



At the start of the day England had a decent chance of saving the test match and keeping the series level at nil-nil. All they needed to do was to bat the day out, and with captain Andrew Strauss and Kevin Pieterson at the crease it seemed like a relatively simple job. However, the criticism of Pieterson's first innings dismissal obviously got to the ex-captain as he left a straight one on off-stump and was bowled by Ben Hilfenhaus, dramatically reducing any chances of avoiding defeat. The skipper soon followed as his attempted cut-shot edged behind to Brad Haddin off of Nathan Hauritz's bowling. It seemed like this would belong to Australia.

England's late middle order put up a fight against the Aussie's attack, with Paul Collingwood top scoring with 74 off of an astonishing 344 deliveries. In spite of this strong display from Collingwood, wickets continued to fall around him. Prior displayed a moment of truly terrible batting when he edged one to first slip. Hauritz's second wicket of the innings. Flintoff gave a bit of stability to the batting line-up, lasting 89 balls but went feeling for a ball, wide of off-stump and edging it behind.

With the wickets of Swann and Broad falling, England found themselves in a situation where they were relying on James Anderson and Monty Panesar to see the side home, with a new ball just around the corner. The pace of Siddle was not enough to break through Monty's defence and the introduction of spin gave Anderson a chance to take the lead and knock 10 minutes off of the remaining playing time. This meant that if England could last until 6.40 pm, then defeat would be avoided.

Australia went for spin at both ends in the form of Nathan Hauritz and Marcus North, with the intention of fitting more overs into the remaining minutes. With 5 minutes left and the crowd cheering every dot ball as if it was a six. England's twelfth-man came sprinting onto the pitch with a change of gloves for Anderson. Ponting's face was a portrait of anger and frustration with the blatant attempts of time wasting and the twelfth-man soon left the pitch. A few overs later and the twelfth-man was back on with yet another change of gloves for Anderson, however this time he was being followed by the England physio who walked out, spoke to Panesar and walked off the pitch again. A much needed exchanging of words no doubt!

All this drama and tension set a perfect atmosphere for the final moments of this first test. The clock struck 6.40 pm and after some discussion between the batsmen, Ricky Ponting and the umpires, play ended and England had saved the test match in the most nail-biting finish to an Ashes test since Edgbaston 2005.

Only in an Ashes series will you find that grit and determination to never back down and that 'never say die' spirit. Day five at Cardiff is what the Ashes is all about!

Cantona, Sheringham, Larsson ... Owen?

Throughout his Old Trafford reign, Sir Alex Ferguson has had a habit of bringing in older, seemingly past their best players and reviving their career. The players that stick out are the likes of 'The King' Eric Cantona, Teddy Sheringham and Henrik Larsson, but could Michael Owen join that list? Or will he struggle to compete at the highest level again?


Michael Owen arrives at the club on a free transfer after his contract with Newcastle ran out, ending an injury plagued four seasons with the club. Upon signing he said "It feels great. I never even had it in my wildest dreams", but the big question is whether his injuries are behind him and he is ready to take his place in a top Premiership team and the England team.

Questions were also being asked of Alex Ferguson when he bought the likes of Cantona and Sheringham, but they went on to become two of the best strikers in the club's history. Cantona went on to help United win the Premier League and the FA Cup on more than one occasion. As for Sheringham, well he scored one of the most important goals in the club's history, a last minute equalizer to set up a dramatic treble victory in the '99 Champions League final.

Now Owen has a chance to prove all of his critics wrong. There is no doubting that he is one of the best finishers in Europe, and what he has lost in pace he has gained in experience and intelligence. However, his injuries still cast over him and raise questions about his ability to perform consistently. We wont know until the season starts but he possesses one thing that can't be lost, a true striker's instinct.