Ronaldo: Here Today, Galactico Tomorrow?

Ask most Manchester United fans and they will probably tell you that they're favourite player is Cristiano Ronaldo. It's inevitable. The 23-year old Midfielder has blossomed into one of the most talented footballers on the planet, along with Lionel Messi, Kaka and Ronaldinho (even though the latter has more or less disappeared off of the footballing radar).



However, no matter how well our No. 7 plays, during the closing months of the season we can already smell the paella and hear the marchas over the horizon as Real Madrid make their periodic transfer market bid for the Portguese Winger. I'm can't speak for all fans but I just can't see Ronaldo sticking around in the drery Salford area when he could be making a bid for the La Liga title in sunny Madrid.



I believe that the temptation of becoming a Galactico will be too much for Ronaldo to resist. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if he packed up his boots and headed for the Bernabeau, since he has won every trophy possible in England and done everything he can in a Man Utd Shirt. Ferguson has pulled out a diamond in the rough to replace Beckham, and now it is time for Ronaldo to spread his wings. Don't get me wrong, I want Ronaldo to sign a contract for life and become the new George Best (Bar the domestic violence and drinking).


In short, I believe that the Manchester United era of Cristiano Ronaldo's career will be coming to a close in the near future. The bright lights of the Bernabeau will soon be the home to the Portugese Hotstepper and Old Trafford will be a mere memory, with the chants of Ronaldo's name echoing through the tunnels, changing rooms....and the oh so full up Trophy Cabinet.

Talking TV - 01

...A satyrical sidesweep,
...A pedantic powerpunch,
...A misanthropic mish-mash

(right...that's enough)

• So the last few days have showed us that the NEWS GODS* are experts in the trade of scare mongering, and for what it's worth I think they just like saying it...mongering.

BLUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

This week there was a heafty mishap involving the US presidential plane Air Force One flying over New Jersey and New York City so that some burke in a US military fighter jet could pocket some snaps of the plane looking glamourous and shaking it's money maker around the sights of New York state. No doubt the photos will be used in some AWESOME posters campaign, but the question on everyone's lips is when will Air Force One, or AF1 as she'll later be known, be releasing her own compilation book of saucy flying-mobile pin-ups and subsequent debut single...well maybe it's not on everyone's lips...probably just mine?


The best part about this story is the total over-reaction from the news stations, the BBC went with "Video captures NY jet terror"! dropping the "T" word is a surefire way to scare some ignorant news-fearing folk here across the pond into thinking something serious has actually happened when in reality the majority of us really couldn't care less if some special plane flies over some place in the US, get it off my tele! To be fair to the people featured in the video (availiable on the BBC news website) the idiots who planned this outing decided not to tell anyone their intentions, not even the mayor or New York. Another hilarious over-reaction to a ridiculous event by Britian's news coverage boffins who love broadcasting American news as if it's our own, we know nothing exciting happens that often in the UK, please just cut to the weather so I can plan my day! Rawrgh!

President Barack Obama was reported as being "FURIOUS!"

...oh the evidence is clear.

Until the next time I can find something of worth to shout about, goodbye, possibly Swine Flu, Hollyoaks, Jeremy Kyle or GMTV on the whole, who knows, not me.

*Hugh Edwards anyone? what a guy...

The Mae Shi

If anyone's in need of a new music fix then look no further than these guys...

The Mae Shi are a four piece experimental punk band hailing from sunny California, whose mix of Indie, Punk and anthemic tunes combine to make one intriguing band, and one only look on their Myspace profile playlist to see why.


Run to Your Grave is that song you heard on the radio a while back but have never been able to find since. With a shouty, upbeat chorus and simple arrangement, it's a definite contender for Song of the Year (so far).


The Lamb and the Lion, which you might recognise as the song from a Skins advert, is also one to listen out for. The Tetris like guitar riff at the start hypnotises, before the very Yeah Yeah Yeahs-esque bridge entices with it's psychedelic charm, making this track very groovy indeed.


If you're into the heavier stuff however, then Vampire Beats is bound to be more your cup of tea. With an altogether more edgy vibe, the short but not so sweet track demonstrates just how intense 90 seconds can be. And if you're really up for chillaxing to something ambient, there's a rather epic extended version of The Lion and the Lamb. At 11 minutes, Kingdom Come is a very mellow synth track that drifts in and out of a slightly surreal James Bond theme.


Tetris? Skins? James Bond?
Told you they were intriguing.


It may only be April but, seeing as the sun's made it's debut appearance in the South this year, I think it's not too early to say that this band will be definite summer BBQ/festival material.


www.myspace.com/themaeshi

Wembley Has No Heart

After years of anticipation, hope and £798 million pounds, the new Wembley Stadium was built. The new 'Home of Football'. The new Wembley opened in 2007 and you could sense the overwhelming pride this structure had reinstalled into the nation, no longer would the England team have to 'borrow' the Millenium Stadium for their home matches. However, it is missing something. Despite the innovative structural design and the 90,000 capacity, it lacks heart.

The original Wembley truly was 'The Home of Football', it had passion, it had pride. It was a stadium that every young lad dreamed of playing, whether you were English, Chinese, Jamaican. Everyone wanted to tell their grandchildren 'I played at Wembley'. However, for some reason I don't get the feeling that the new Wembley has the same world wide status.

Wembley's problems are of vast quantity. The pitch is of a terrible standard, the prices are massively over priced and the sting of playing at Wembley has been taken out by scheduling the FA Cup semi-finals there for the next 30 years.
Most stadiums are built around the pitch, but Wembley have done it the other way around. It's almost as if they built the stadium and the day before it being unveiled then realised, 'Wait, aren't we supposed to have a pitch in the middle of all these seats?' It is simply not good enough.

The FA have simply built a stadium that could be confused with any other high capacity around Europe and they are trying to squeeze every penny out of the fans who travel all the way to watch a match that is ruined by a pitch that cuts up under-foot and £10 Cheese Burgers.

Easter Break

We are taking a short break to eat our body weight in chocolate, but we shall soon be back to pump articles into every orifice of your body!

'Shear' nonsense!

It has finally happened! The 3rd messiah has arrived at Newcastle United, Alan Shearer. This appointment was speculated not too long ago when Kevin Keegan left after his second, unsuccessful, stint at St James' Park and Alan Shearer was tipped as one of the favourites to take the job. In spite of the speculation the 'toon' hero was not hired, instead they appointed ex-Wimbledon manager Joe Kinnear.

However, after requiring heart surgery in February, Joe Kinnear has been forced to step down as manager. This tragic turn of events has resulted in Alan Shearer answering Mike Ashley's distress call and accept the temporary job at Newcastle United.

As a player, Alan Shearer is regarded as one of the Newcastle greats. In 1996 he was bought for a world record fee of £15 million and went on to make 404 appearances, scoring 206 goals. His career with Newcastle was a constant struggle for success, the closest he came to the Premier League title was 2nd place in the 1996-97 season. He also has two FA Cup runners up medals, one in 1998 and the other coming from the 1999 final.

Despite his legendary status at Newcastle United, his appointment comes across as 'wishful thinking' and the hopeful creations of a fairy tale story. His side had a tough first game against Chelsea where they were never expected to gain a result, but i feel that result will become a repeated pattern for Alan's reign as 'gaffer'. He has acquired the services of Ian Dowie who has a record as an unsuccessful manager with a lot of teams and I feel Newcastle will not break this record.

The club are currently sitting in the relegation zone at 18th place and I can only see this position deteriorating with an inexperienced local boy at the helm.